departure and the remedy for sadness
I was thinking about something I talked about yesterday with a mentor about how it is okay to grieve at death because it is not the way things ought to be. It seems to apply to my current situation of leaving Bryan and not returning.
I am never very emotional, but I have been lately; and every time I am sad at the prospect of leaving, I am immediately filled with doubts. Did I make the right decision? Was I misreading the situation and my own feelings about it? I want to fix what I perceive as a problem--this sadness that fills my heart. Do away with it like we do away with headaches or allergies or any other physical result of the fall.
But I am reminded that it is okay to grieve: that sadness at death or departure is not to be shunned or remedied. "In this life we will have trials, but take heart--I have overcome the world." I have always been so distant from any real trials, and thus distant from ever seeing my God overcome. Perhaps in the next week, I might learn to grieve appropriately: without allowing sadness to affect my decisions, but also without trying to cease the aching of my heart. And then I will be able to delight in seeing my Overcomer.
posted by amelia ruth at 6:40 PM
3 Comments:
Okay, Miss Amy. You never told me you had your own site! (Of course, it only occurred to me to click on your user name last night . . . I take a while to figure things out if they are remotely technological in nature!)
I have enjoyed reading through your posts. You are articulate, seeking truth and willing to follow where it leads, and encouraging in your honesty.
You are a good writer. You will be an excellent writer. Time and experience, continued reading and writing, will take you where you wish to be. The gift is there. Accept and nurture it, but don't make it an idol. Let God choose the timing as you follow His path for your life. Live first, then write about it.
The site is bookmarked and I'll be checkin' back!
Love you!
well, thanks for your encouragement. I will try not to make writing my idol. It is hard sometimes when I see other people's good writing and just want to be that good: and so I strive for proving myself instead of writing what God has placed in my heart to write.
Eric Liddell said (at least in the movie): "when I run, I feel God's pleasure." And that's how I feel about writing. So we'll see what happens, and I'll keep nurturing that gift and living this life as fully as I can.
You're amazing, and you have influenced my life and my writing so much. Thanks for continually challenging me to live well, both in your words and in your example of hardworking, longsuffering, God-centered womanhood.
Thank you, Amy. I love that quote from Eric Liddell (which appears to be accurate). Our Lord does give us abilities which it is a joy to use. I often have to remind myself to use my writing for the joy of it, not for the sake of "fame and fortune."
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